The Manager

DARYA

What would you have done if you were in the same situation as Kunal with an abusive guardian?

If I were in the same situation , I would probably do the same. I would probably tolerate him. Having a familiar face around, even a bad one, at that age might be better than being abandoned in the middle of overwhelming difficulties. There is saying in Farsi that I found the exact equivalent in English: “a drowning man will clutch at a straw.”

I had nobody in my life to forbid me from doing the things I wanted to do. But, it doesn’t mean there were no circumstances shaping or limiting my path.

“It’s fine.”

When people ask “How is your life?” the immediate answer that comes to mind is usually, “it’s fine”. I think even the person asking expects nothing more. People rarely reveal their true feelings unless they are close to one another.

In Kabir’s case, he and his parents were apart for a long time. They barely have anything in common to talk about. At most, they exchange a few sentences about work. Maybe Kabir doesn’t want them to suffer or maybe he endured so much pain himself that it’s still hard for him to put it into words or maybe in the most optimistic sense, he has already processed these experiences and comes to terms with, aligning with the flow of life.

For now they’re familiar strangers but, some day, life might place them in a situation where they can openly talk and share what they have individually gone through.

JULIAN

“It’s fine.”

I’m not really sure if he was really fine, being technically by your own running a motel can be really hard I guess. He had to quit his goals as a child because of the business. Maybe he kept running it because it reminded him of his parents. At that age he thought it was going to be manageable, but over the months and years he didn’t even realize when did he quit to study and follow his goals.

His mom asked him if he was fine, he said “I’m fine” that way because he didn’t want to say anything else about his life…. I use it a lot, but it depends who’s asking that question. If it is someone close to me, I go always with honesty.

Your experience coming to the United States

I never had a really close relationship with both of my parents. The last time they saw me was when I was one years old. I had to stay with my grandparents from my mom’s side. My grandma told me I was very shy and very nervous because it was my first time seeing my mom’s family. My grandma from my dad’s side was visiting me very often and I refused to see her too. They all said it was because I didn’t know anyone at that moment.

I don’t even remember anything about this situation, but my grandma told me it took little time for me to adapt to my new life. Over the years I only remember I was loving going to my grandma’s house from my dad’s side in the town, this because she had a livestock farm… and I love animals and also because I loved spending the time with her. And I also love my grandma from my mom’s side. Every time I’m talking to her is a relief to me.

Leaving my homeland was 50% easy and 50% difficult. Coming to the United States was technically my decision and when I made this decision, my mind was always “You have to accept and adapt to the new life that is waiting for you.”

Thankfully, I can get really comfortable in a new place really quickly, without abusing whoever I am with or wherever I am. So coming to the United States was not as difficult as it was for many other people. Since I came to the United States, I’ve been around good people who take care of me and I’m trying to take care of whoever is coming around me and try to help them without waiting for a “thank you.” 

ABBOS

Separation in your life

This story deeply impressed me. I believe that separation from parents is inevitable in human life, but it should happen naturally, after childhood is fully lived. Neither adults nor the state have the right to take childhood away from children. In Kabir’s story, this is exactly what happened. He was forced to grow up too early.

The scene with the party, alcohol, and dancing is not about fun for me. It is about the pain he carried inside. In his dance, we can feel what he could not express with words. This is a story about how childhood was stolen from a person.
MARIA

“It’s fine.”

I think that Kabir answered that he was fine, first because he was not sure that his parents were there – maybe as a dream, and by other side because all the things that he lived it have been a lot as good as bad but in that moment just in that moment when he was with his parents all was quiet, peaceful. His mind was relaxed and living in that moment.

For me that phrase is the same. When I am good without any problems I say I’m fine, or when something isn’t very bad, I say I’m fine. I think that phrase is used to express conformity in that moment.

“I am my own man now!”

I believe he said that because he had many experiences, and perhaps most of them weren’t so good, but in the end they all allowed him to become the new person he was at that time. It allowed him to mature and find out how to live and face each challenge he had in his life. And now he is a new man, his own man with his own experience, mistakes and knowledge.

As for me, I believe I’m a very experienced person, which allows me to be loving and grateful, and at the same time strong and determined, striving to live each day for myself and my family.  

Perhaps, I haven’t achieved everything I wanted, but I have many good things that no one else has, or that maybe they have, but they don’t see them the way I do, and that makes them very special and a blessing.

SABRINA

“It’s fine.”

Sometimes people prefer not to expose themselves in order to avoid judgment or simply because they don’t want to talk about the subject. So answering I’m fine is the best way to avoid certain conversations. With his adolescence cut short by the obligation of being the hotel manager, Kabir did not have time for himself and perhaps didn’t even have a direction, since children and teenagers need guidance from adults, I believe this is a very deep wound in him and that is why he does not want to talk about it, especially because what happened was no one’s fault. It was simply life.

Being your own person

My mom always told me that we have to be our own person, independent, and able to do things for ourselves, because in the end we are the only ones who stay with ourselves for our entire lives. Everything else is temporary. Life happens, and we don’t know what can change. Moving to another country made me become my own person. Before that, I didn’t really have to be. It’s always ideal to be independent, but I hadn’t realized how important it is to live with yourself, to trust your own decisions, and to respect who you are. Learning how to handle things on your own, make your own choices, and keep going even when everything is against you builds self respect. It’s about taking care of yourself and becoming the best version of who you can be.


GHIZ

“It’s fine.”

Life can generally surprise anyone in an unexpected ways. It could sometimes feel like a rollercoaster, all the ups and downs can leave you breathless. The experience Kunal’s family went through, during a decade, could be described as a devastating tsunami, leaving deep scars on each member.

“It’s fine” was the short and appropriate answer to his mother. I think he used these three words to comfort her and himself that everything is ok now. He probably knew that there was no need to go into details. The sad reality about his terrible childhood, the anger about feeling abandoned, the rage about dropping his only dream to become a neurosurgeon, the deception about his uncle’s behavior…. Would never be changed over time. He preferred not looking into the mirror and focusing to rekindle his relationship with his parents.

As for me, I often use the expression “I’m fine” as many people do. It means that everyone try to manage their feelings, as far as possible, avoiding a negative impact on their loved ones especially parents. Sometimes, speaking less is a sign of wisdom.

Separation in your life

Depending on how strong relationship we have towards our family, the hardest experiences impact people in different ways.

Since my childhood, my relationship with my late father was so deep that I saw him as my source of energy and happiness. When he passed away, I went through a painful experience that words couldn’t even describe. I felt like a passenger leaving train’s life; my spirit was always elsewhere and my connection with people suddenly broke. It was really hard for me to cope with that situation. Since everything seemed completely empty, I went into hibernation for a long time like a bear during winter, just to survive.

Even though I got used to our separation over time, I feel much better since I can connect with my father anytime, anywhere, through my meditation or dreams.


JANNA

“I am my own man now!”

Kunal believed that life without his parents not only brought him much suffering and hardship, but also shaped him as a person. He was able to not give up and overcome life’s difficulties. At the age of 18, he started working at a hotel on his own. During the years he was separated from his parents, he grew into a mature young man. He learned to live and to work independently.

My own life experience, which taught me to become an independent person happened in my youth. I left my parent’s home to study in another city. Then I got married. This was the starting point for my development as a mature individual.

Separation in your life

I have my own experience of long separation from children. My separation from my daughter lasted 19 years. Meetings that took place once a year helped to cope with this. Our family was reunited two years ago. Such a long separation has changed us and our relationship with each other forever.


GALINA

The 2 articles about Kunal

In the second article, I learned new information that was not included in the story. I learned that Kunal spent time living with a foster family after leaving detention. The article described a serious financial crisis when the family almost lost the motel because of unpaid mortgage payments. It also explained that Kunal was under extreme stress and had serious health problems. I learned that Ramada removed the franchise and later the hotel became America’s Best Value Inn. I also learned that a family from India came to help Kunal, and their help played an important role in saving the hotel. The article also mentioned that Kunal has a young son, and when his parents returned, Kunal wanted to leave Green River and start a new life

“It’s fine.”

Kabir answered “It’s fine” because he did not want to worry his mother. He was probably trying to hide his real feelings. I do not think he was really fine, because inside he felt stress, pressure, and sadness. Many people say “I’m fine” even when they are not okay. When I say “I’m fine,” it often means that I do not want to talk about my problems. People say this because it is easier than explaining their true feelings.


CHRISTIAN

“I am my own man now!”

“I’m my own man now” means someone is independent. A person makes his own decisions, and doesn’t depend on others to control his life anymore. I think to be your own man is very important because the faster you become self-sufficient and gain complete control over your life, the more experience and wisdom you gain to face challenges and adversity.

I am my own person because I became independent from my parents. Now, I make my own decisions and have my own lifestyle. Being your own person means growing in all senses, depending 100% on your actions, the course of your life will depend on your actions and choices.

“It’s fine.”

“It’s fine” is an answer that can have many meanings. On one hand, “it’s fine” means feel good without showing emotion or exaltation. It is just being chill. On the other hand, it’s fine means things aren’t going well for me, but I don’t want to show that I’m feeling down. He said that because he was living a difficult situation but he didn’t want his mother to know that he was suffering. He said that because he didn’t want her to get worried or maybe because he didn’t want to tell her mistakes he made while he was managing the hotel.

He wasn’t honest with his feelings because he had to grow and become independent from an early age and he learned to hide his emotions and feelings. His goals of college and becoming a neurosurgeon were really his goals but his responsibilities at the hotel and his duty to keep his father’s businesses afloat meant that he devoted most of his time to that, and little by little he neglected and forgot his dreams and goals.

I am my own person because I became independent from my parents. Now, I make my own decisions and have my own lifestyle. Being your own person means growing in all senses, depending 100% on your actions, the course of your life will depend on your actions and choices.

“It’s fine.”

“It’s fine” is an answer that can have many meanings. On one hand, “it’s fine” means feel good without showing emotion or exaltation. It is just being chill. On the other hand, it’s fine means things aren’t going well for me, but I don’t want to show that I’m feeling down. He said that because he was living a difficult situation but he didn’t want his mother to know that he was suffering. He said that because he didn’t want her to get worried or maybe because he didn’t want to tell her mistakes he made while he was managing the hotel. He wasn’t honest with his feelings because he had to grow and become independent from an early age and he learned to hide his emotions and feelings. His goals of college and becoming a neurosurgeon were really his goals but his responsibilities at the hotel and his duty to keep his father’s businesses afloat meant that he devoted most of his time to that, and little by little he neglected and forgot his dreams and goals.

I use and say “I’m fine” all the time. The most time I use “I’m fine” in a sarcastic way to express my loneliness and sadness without having to say it explicitly.


SHAVKAT

“It’s fine.”

When I say “It’s fine” I often mean that I am hiding what I really feel.

Just like Kunal, I say it to protect others and avoid difficult conversations. “It’s fine” usually means I am coping, even though things are not truly fine.

“I am my own man now!”

He is claiming his right to choose his path and his future. I feel the same as I take responsibility for my life and move forward with confidence.

BASAR

Kunal Sah’s story emphasizes overwhelming obstacles and finding ways to thrive when circumstances are not ideal. Kabir grew up with resilience and responsibility through managing a business, pursuing academic goals, and at the same time navigating bureaucracy as a child.

“I am my own man now!”

Kunal means he has become fully independent and self-reliant after years of running the motel alone.

How important is it to be your own man?

Being your own person is very important for building confidence, resilience, and living life on your own terms.

Are YOU your own person? If yes, in what way? If no, why not?

Yes, in the sense that I have a distinct personality, values.

BELLA

What would you have done if you were in the same situation as Kunal with an abusive guardian?

When Kunal’s parents left the United States, his uncle became very controlling and emotionally abusive. He told Kunal that he could not become a doctor and that his dreams were unrealistic. Hearing this from the only adult in the house was very damaging, especially because Kunal was a strong student with big goals. If I were in his situation, I think I would feel very confused and hurt, but I would try to hold on to my dreams. In my own life, I have also experienced moments when people doubted my abilities, and those moments taught me to rely on myself and keep moving forward.

“I am my own man now!”

When Kunal says, “I’m my own man now,” he means that he has learned how to survive and take responsibility for his life on his own. After many years without his parents, he was forced to grow up very quickly and make adult decisions at a young age. Being your own person is important because it means you are not controlled by fear or by other people’s opinions. I believe I am becoming my own person as well, by learning from difficult experiences and not giving up when life becomes challenging.

ELENA S.

“It’s fine.”

I think he didn’t fully understand his feelings himself. Having lived only years without his parents, he learned independence and responsibility, learned to live with this pain. And now, being next to them again, he was embarrassed. For so many years, they have become as if they are unfamiliar to him.

When asked how I’m doing, I often use this phrase. But this is not always true. I think people use this phrase on the machine. Perhaps this means that I don’t want to go into details, so I’ll indicate that in general “I’m fine”.

Separation in your life

Since I entered the university, I have lived away from my family. I did not give importance to separation, as I was passionate about studying and living independently. And I always knew that I could come back, talk to my family whenever I wanted. Now I don’t have this opportunity and it was the hardest for me. Over time, I got used to it and it became a little easier. I learned to cope with difficulties, took responsibility for my choice. Of course, I did it before moving, but here it began to feel much more noticeable. There’s no one to hope for here but yourself.

MIKHAIL

The 2 articles about Kunal

I think Kunal wanted to feel the same way he felt when he was a child and happy. His parents were young and they used to go out to eat together. Every time they bought soda and Kunal felt very happy in those moments, but when they went to the same place after his parents came back, his parents could not drink soda because of their health. At that moment, Kunal understood that the past could not come back and that he had changed and grown up. He realized that those happy and carefree times would probably never return. Because he had not seen his parents for a long time, he did not fully understand his feelings.

“It’s fine.”

I also think that when his mother asked him, “How is your life?” and he answered, “It’s fine” it was not true. In reality life was hard for him, but he did not want to make his mother sad. He had to be an adult when he was still a child and that was very difficult. I believe that the strongest and happiest emotions happen in childhood and we can’t feel them the same way as adults.

Believing in yourself

His father always supported and motivated him. He told him that he could achieve anything he wanted. Kunal believed in himself and his eyes were full of hope. His uncle did the opposite. He kept telling Kunal that he would achieve nothing and that he would never become a neurosurgeon. In a situation like this it is very important that at least one person believes in you and supports you. When Kunal studied words from the dictionary he never doubted himself. There were about 260,000 words, but he believed he could learn them. This belief came from his father, who always told him, “You can achieve anything!”

JORGE

The 2 articles about Kunal

Yes, something surprised me a lot in the story. I was very surprised because he was still a child and he had to work very hard. Even when his parents were deported, he continued with the business and tried to keep everything working. It is surprising how much responsibility he had at such a young age. For me, it is a very surprising story and sometimes it feels not possible to believe.

When we read the story of Kunal Sah, we learned that after his parents left for India, his uncle became abusive and beat him, and told him all the things he COULD NOT DO in his life. What were some of those things? What would YOU have done if you were in that situation? Has anyone ever forbid you to do things you really wanted to do? What happened?

Some of the things his uncle told him were that he could not be a doctor and he could not go to a good college. His uncle always said negative things. If I were in that situation, I think I would feel very sad and angry. For this reason, I don’t know what my situation has been like. In summary, it first makes me feel bad, but later I use that as motivation to keep going and not give up.

“It’s fine.”

I think he says “It’s fine” because he did not want to worry his mother. He was not completely honest with his feelings. He was strong, but his life was very hard and he was not really fine. I think his goals of college and becoming a neurosurgeon were real goals, but life changed and he had to focus on surviving.

“I am my own man now!”

When Kunal say “I’m my own man now,” he meant that he is independent and makes his own decisions. He grow up very fast because of his life situation and learned how to survive alone.

Separation in your life

In my life, I was separated from my father because of his death. This was very painful and very hard to accept, especially when you know you will never see that person again. Later, when I came to this country, I was also separated from the rest of my family. This was a radical change and not easy at all.


VITA

I’m my own man now

Independence is when you take care of yourself. I think adults should be independent. Yes, I am independent because I make my own decisions.

Separation in your life

At the moment. my parents live far away from me in Ukraine. It is hard for me because we used to see each other and they are very important to me. I hope that I will be able to meet them soon. From this experience, I understood how important it is to be close to your parents.


ELENA K.

“It’s fine.”

. . . His face looks a little sad. I think he is sad about his unfulfilled dreams: he did not go to college and he did not become a neurosurgeon. But now he has accepted it and understands that he has become a person who makes his own decisions. This has become his life motto. He also just met his parents after a long time apart, and there is a little discomfort between them, but he thinks that everything will truly be okay.

Separation in your life

The first time I felt separation from a close person was when I was about 10 or 11 years old. My grandmother came to visit us and stayed at our house for a few months. She always taught my two younger sisters and me how to behave like good, polite girls and what skills we should learn. At first, I tried to be polite, but sometimes I argued with her and even shouted.

After a few months, when she went back to her house in another city, I felt an emptiness in my heart and missed my grandmother very much. I often called her and wrote letters to stay in touch. Even now, many years later, after she has passed away, I still remember her with warmth and miss her.


EVGENY

The 2 articles about Kunal

From the story, I was surprised by the following. I thought his parents owned only one hotel, but the story shows that they had four hotels. One of them was in another state. It is clear that the uncle was more involved in the business. The story doesn’t tell much about his uncle. Or it is possible that the father’s colleagues helped manage the hotels and/or that the parents managed them remotely.

“It’s fine.”

I think in this situation he says “I’m fine” because he went through many events and painful experiences. At this moment, he doesn’t want to go through it again. And it’s not something you can explain in just a few words.

He had a childhood dream – to become a neurosurgeon, but I don’t think it was his real dream. He seemed more interested in the humanities. In the film and story, there is no any sign that he liked biology or medicine.


CHRISTINA

The 2 articles about Kunal

We learned additional information that was not shown in the movie or included in the book Little America. At that time, the parents had established four uber-successful hotels, not just one or 2. We also learned that Kunal sponsored his family for a green card when he turned 21.

When the parents left the U.S.A., they knew they could not return to America for 10 years because they had applied for asylum. Under immigration rules, they were required to leave the U.S. and could not return—even to visit—for a decade.

We found out that Kunal was not jailed for serving alcohol to teenagers at a party; rather, he was convicted of misuse of credit-card information, which is theft.

When Kunal turned 17, Ken and Sarita petitioned the court to release him to them in India so that he could finish his probation there. We also discovered that Kunal visited his family in Delhi in January 2011, when he was 17 years old, and spent a year in India. It is unclear whether he completed his probation while in India.

Later he got married and has a son. He graduated summa cum laude (with the highest distinction) from the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania with a Master of Business Administration

“It’s fine.”

At the end of the video, we feel both Kunal’s stress and his relief at the same time. Kunal endured many difficult experiences. When he says “I’m fine,” it is because he doesn’t want to explain how he feels. His life has been very hard, and he prefers to keep going and continue playing his role. “I’m fine” often covers up what we really want to say and does not truly reflect how we are feeling or what our life is like. The real answer can be scary to share and complex to explain.

Maybe going to college and becoming a neurosurgeon were not really his own goals. I was surprised that such a young child even knew about the job of a neurosurgeon. I think his parents gave him too much responsibility from a very young age and had too many expectations of him.

I have mixed feelings about his parents. I keep thinking that they used Kunal to run their hotels, and if Kunal had been a girl, I think the story would have been different.


MAFTUNA

“It’s fine.”

Actually, he said this to suppress his feelings and not to hurt his mother. His dream was to study in college and become a neurosurgeon.

I am fine. People often use this. Regardless of their mood, I think people live with the hope that one day everything will be fine. That’s why they say, “I am fine.”

Actually, just being in this life is a great happiness. Every person has their own mission in this world. I think God did not create them for nothing.


OLEG

The 2 articles about Kunal

Kunal is big now. He has a wife and kids. He went to school and is happy with hotels.

What would you have done if you were in the same situation as Kunal with an abusive guardian?

The Uncle hit Kunal. He said: “You can’t be a doctor. You can’t do good.” I would ask the teacher for help.

“It’s fine.”

Kabir said “It’s fine.” He was sad, but hid it. I say “fine” when I feel bad too.

“I am my own man now!”

“I’m my own man” means Kunal is grown. He decides everything now. I pick my things too.

Separation in your life

Mom was away sometimes. I felt sad and cried. I played and got happy again.


SVITLANA

“It’s fine.”

When somebody asks you “How is it going?” First your answer is “I’m fine”. It’s like a regular phrase which save your companion mind of your problems. Kunal’s answer “It’s fine” sounds similar but sad; of course it doesn’t mean he’s really fine.

He learned to survive by himself and doesn’t share his pain and problems with people who he wants to keep saving and people who already are not so close to him. So I think “It’s fine” became usual for him during the last few years. He just got used to showing only the better side of his life and his feelings.

“I am my own man now!”

It’s so important to be your own person in your life. The most important thing is making decisions and taking responsibility for them. Kunal started to do it when he was so young and I’m sure he made a lot of mistakes; but that is exactly what makes every person mature. Every new start and taking responsibility for it, makes us stronger and more independent.

DAVID

“It’s fine.”

Kabir was eleven years old when he was separated from his parents and was left alone to emigrate to the United States. This story may be easy to tell, but it’s hard to imagine what life has done for him. As a minor child he was handed over to his uncle, who demotivated him instead of supporting him, he was left face to face with both his existential problems and his running motel.

It was more than ten years before he was reunited with his parents. All this has not been without losses. The biggest thing he has lost is his childhood, which is clearly seen in his mother’s question, which she asked her son, who grew up in loneliness, standing in front of her: “How is your life?”

He answers, “It’s fine.”

When I graduated from school, with the support of my parents, I moved to the capital to study at a state university. This is the period when communism collapsed. Georgia regained its independence. With the help of external forces, we overthrew the national government with a putsch, killed national leaders, waging a fratricidal war inside and lost territories.

In a short time, the country was destroyed. Crime reigned in the streets. At that time, I had to enter the arena of life. At first, I was more successful on the street than at university, and two years later I was almost expelled from university. I was able to take an academic year at the university. No one had heard of it. I was left alone with myself, re-evaluating my values and drawing a line between good and evil. It was a turning point in my life.  After that, my answer to such a question would already be: “It’s fine.”

“I am my own man now!”
When I was 24 years old, I went to study in Germany, where I began to live independently in every way. At the time, I would say: I AM MY OWN MAN.

HANNA

“How is your life?”

Often, to avoid going into details, not to burden others with problems, and not to reveal their weaknesses, people simply say, “It’s fine.”